A sign

A twist in the order
a sign in the skies
something that could
guide my mind
a small hint
from above
to help in this line
to make all fine
be happy, joyful
at last.

Smile

I want to smile
not think at all
even if it is vile
smile!
feel as touched
by a god.
joyful at full
no rightful thought
no reasoning involve
smile and laugh
as life is new
no worries or woes
just laughter
just love.

To a toy

The life of a toy is long

change of hands

to live more

I came willing to play

And got lost in the game

Nothing gives me more joy

That my puppet’s locks

Undress it and change its clothes

Talk as only can with a toy

The time ran out

Judging eyes reproach

My childish ways

No longer proper for my age

Trying hard to leave the child behind

But the infant refuses be left aside

Forced upon me years to be

The grown woman I must be

Think selfish of me

Trying to keep my beloved toy

When someone more

Could play without remorse

Perhaps another mistress

Will achieve turn

those wooden limbs

in flesh and bones

give my puppet a voice.

When we two parted

Today a touched rock bottom by choking with chocolate while looking for paper to sketch, I ran out of it. After drinking lots of water felt good enough but not to draw but to read some poetry. Lord Byron moved me with his poem "when we two parted" but I was in tears when I finished "definition of love" by Andrew Marvell. The rhyme and beautiful selection of words is amanzing and soon I will be able to read it without a shaking voice to post it here. The drawings above were made quickly so they are not detailed at all.

"When we two parted" is a nice poem in which Lord Byron describe a sore break-up that it wouldn't be easily forgotten by one of the lovers. It portraits so many different feelings and emotions, not only the distance and sudden indifference but also the open wound when the lovers' name is mentioned. The wondering how love remains instead of fading by the indifference. Also a review on the past- In secret we met-phrase reflected on a future encounter that might be as painful as the initial farewell.

Love is a complicated feeling sometimes and it certainly takes time to make peace with the past. If Lord Byron wrote this as a reflection of his own feelings, I can only say, -well done, girl(whoever you were). Certainly, he would have been over it extremely soon as the hedonist-bisexual freak he was.

Serial flirt

He sadly said
better no other guy
cross your path
other guy, I said
rather wonder
what it meant
Oh yes, he replied
some other your fancy
might favor
A serial flirt
labeled I was
fame so clear
so low in esteem
you hold my being
I bother to deny
what it's for me a lie
words can hurt
and yours cetainly have
that guy, you fear
can be easily repeated
your worries let me clear
no guy will ever be,
cross my way as he did
'cos that guy wasn't just a guy
it was the guy for me.

The land of no blame

My whole body screamed for you
every cell shouted
throw myself at your feet
just touch you
just feel you
just breath the same air again
please take me to the land of no blame
love me , love me,I begged
Or make me your slave
I'm so desperated for your touch
the sound of your voice
oh, one more time and again
I don't want to leave your side
take me to the land of no blame, I said
so i wished ,I could beg
I could say the words
I could solve all
hopeless again I found
empty handed I was
nothing to offer but blind devotion.
murmur a riddle of sorrows
combined with my woes
to leave again wishing to stay.

Adore you

I adore you in silence
in the pain of no words
in the dungeon of sins
I adore you in insanity
a way no one comprehends
a way I only can
I adore you violently
fearfully and wild
I desired with all I have
I adore you again, again
against the law,
against my god.

I'm going to Gent with a group from the art academy, hopefully will be fun to visit museums. No post tomorrow then, I'll be back quite late.

Tears, idle tears

Tears, idle tears is a poem by Lord Tennyson that inspired me to write some words about it.


Tears,idle tears for love gone
we cry and shout
as life goes on
no doubt , no request
it goes, it changes
reinvent itself
success or fails
life do not stop
even we are gone.

The hunter and the red fox

Another glorious morning said the red fox coming out of his den.It will be fun to catch a mouse as breakfast, a hare as lunch and for dinner ,a faisan perhaps .At the other side of the forest a group of hunters are releasing their beagles to search for birds to shoot at.

Those hunting dog are vicious once they are in a group, once they have caught a prey. Unware of any danger the red fox started to hunt as well, searching in all the obvious places but no mice trace. He thought perhaps a bit further among the long dry grass. He deep into the dying grass and knew it wouldn’t be an easy catch but he perceive an scent, he was close. So close he didn’t realized that beagle was about to strike him down. It was vicious attack, the fox defended himself but the beagle's verocious attack was way too strong, it seemed unstoppable while the fox fighted with all he’s got. A shout perturbated the scene, the beagle stopped and a hunter with a red handkerchief around his neck was looking down at him. He feared the end was near, a shot and it will be all over.

The man stared at the fox for what it felt like a long time, it was a look.....
End of part 1.

Dark feathers

Dark feathers of memories                                        
falling from skies
still tormented
hopelessly wonder
he does not long for me
put me in the past
just out of his sight
worthless for him
undeserving grim
it's a sword
inlaid on my chest
I bleed, agonize
as I've lost the fight.




Unfortunatelly after abusing youtube for a couple of days my assigned internet flow got to a near end. I'll be writing until it's over and then I'll wait until the 12th oct. for it to be back to normal. By now, I think my readers don't really like my poems as they mock  in silence(paranoic perhaps but no comments or reactions pretty much point to that). It's an awful feeling but I still have some more poems and a small tale to post.Anyway is my way to make a sort of catharsis.Some quotes that I would like to share: "The only antidote to mental suffering is physical pain" -Karl Marx -and "Reason may cure illusions but not suffering" -Alfred de Musset. Karl Marx promoted communism so any mental suffering people may have would be nothing to the pain of living painfully as ants.I wish, I had some physical pain to alleviate my mental suffering but I've learnt that both just pile together and it's even harder to overcome. Reason is great, makes you act morally correct, walk in the line, pain inside the lines, do as you are told,etc but illusions make life glow and when someone lose that due over reasoning life is opaque.

Forgive me

May happiness be yours
and farewells never hurt you
or any pain ever touch you
forgive me, my love
all the time I've loved you
I hurted you
it was my error
and believe me ,dear
now I'm paying it.
may happiness be yours
while I'll still love you
it's my only prayer
for your sake I'll pray
'til the end of my days.

Childish devotion

Found your friend

he smiled and I waved

civil talk

usual things

said your name

Forgive my blame,

it was my childish devotion

prasing you

as a fool.

Feel my love

Alone in the darkness                                                                                                                                

do you feel my love?                                                                                                                                   

my heart beats next to yours                                                                                                                  

no matter, how lone                                                                                                                                  

how lost you feel                                                                                                                                          

I live in your mind                                                                                                                                     

deep in your heart

as you live in mine.

Erase

If erase and rewind was an option
set on caotic lifes
I'd push the button
would erase so much
empty memory box
no regreats for a lost
everything new and good
no sins, no pain
just live a day
without tears
nor senseless fears.

Another nightmare

I look into the dark

the darkness looks at me

surrounded by bad dreams

only him and I

save me, I scream

he looks at me

turns his back

walks away

desapear into the fog

keep shouting his name

crying in fear

as the shadows embrace me

feel so cold

as life goes.

Please don't pretend you haven't read this poem and leave some trace of good will by clicking on the reaction bubbles.

Come to me

Come to me
my fair love
come to me
we shall be the best
come to me
let us be friends again
walk in one lane 
delight me with your sight
let us forget our fight
come to me
my fair love
'cos excistence is a strife
as you left my life.

Ripped off

Old man, your blue eyes
remind me of someone
shall not name
old man, I gave you my coins
the few I had
for  sad melodies
played in your acordeon
today eager again
to drop some coins
in your black box
could not find you anymore
too late, thought I was
but again saw you near by
getting in your own car
feel so ripped off
mainly by my bohemian thought
that street musician shall be all  poor.

Once again

Once again can't forget
mind set
bond to thee
can't be unmade
took my chance
to make it right
to others eyes
for my displeasure
bitter pleasure
fine feels wrong
wrong feels fine
as shadows embrace
my dying heart
darkness of a path
fear to take
to behold once again
thy loving eyes.