Letter to Granny

Dear Grandma,

 I just heard. You are gone to the land of never more and it's so hard to fully understand that your time came to an end. It took me so long to realize how sweet, independent and wonderful woman, you were.

 I will miss seeing you chewing tobacco or drinking a bit too much. I will miss your inspiring stubborness.

I feel guilty for not talking to you as much as I would want to only because we spoke practically different languages. I know,  I did not try hard enough.

Perhaps, I am writting because I won't have the chance to see you one last time, I won't be able to embrace my mother, pay my last respect or grief like others can.

Grandma, I will miss you deeply beyond you could have ever thought. 

 Maria de la Cruz (1929 - 2013) RIP.

Desire

blinding feeling
tasting a dream
delightful promise
fullfilling bliss
wanting eyes
eger lips
kissing softly
kissing sweet
getting rough
needing more
open arms
getting close
shedding clothes
blocking thoughts
wanting more.

Cynic

I am cynic, my dear
do not try it on me
I have little faith
it has never disappointed me
No cheap lines
of complements
no actual lies
can win my favour
nor interest can tempt me
to the extent, to sell myself
for such low profit
of what you can offer.

The serial charmer

Self confidence and a smile
to rule the world
get what he wants
toys to play
and have his fun
so when the lol is over
to kindly put away in a corner
ready to play with something new
Excellent! splendid! he says
automatic like his smile
so pleasing
so charming
everyone dancing
in the palm of his hand
why would not they?
so sweet as honey
every word he says
it has worked for years
the same scheme all over again
toy after toy used and thrown away.

Mistaken

I bend my head in sign of respect
Praise your knowledge
admire your faith and kindness,
signs of a great man
Somehow you looked upon me
though you found what
you searched for
sadly , I must say
You are mistken
I am friend
loyal ally
for what it worths
a fan of your work
and nothing more.
It is not the moral
of this temporary world
nor the time
that keep me
but the fact that
I can not bear the thought.

Misery

Oh, Misery! why do you follow me?
is it my look or my perfum?
is it my profession linked with depression?
is it my twisted humour or my taste for cynicism?
tell me Oh, Misery!
break your cruel silence
why from all you chose me,
to torment?
you are rooted on me so deep
crooked roots of sadness and desperation
am I became part of you?
or you became part of me?

Chores

Hours of silence
chores, burdens to carry
duty of choice
tears or remorse
the door is closing
I want to push
my thoughts through,
lock them out of here
far away from me.
It's sunny outside
darkness in my mind.

Thoughts

Twisted inside
Feelings and thoughts
Keep me awake
Through dark nights
Sorrow my only certainty
tears in my face
Sorrow in hands
Same story repeat itself
Hurts the same.