Painting portraits

I keep painting portraits
color over color
shadows and lights
everything divided
I keep painting portraits
trying to figure them out
faces and thoughts
darkness and light
I keep painting portraits
one subject at the time
he is distant and cold
no light in his life
copy-paste of a past
left abandoned again
his life like smoke
slowly rising white
going up and up
til disapear.

Thousand times a day.

I repeat your name like a mantra
thousand times a day
you´re like a god, distant
looking down on me
judging me
pointing at me
my flaws and my ways
ashamed of me
so weak and needy
I vow to your voice
I need your touch
The pedestal were you find yourself
it is so high
Do you feel almighty?
Do you think, you´ll always be there?
I´ll find a way to close my eyes
remove my heart and believe no more
Can I?
can I?
is it possible to suffer no more?
loving you like my god
it´s harder than I though.