Tell me

My whole body trembles
as leaves in the cold november
you seem distant, thoughtful
serious and tense
I want to know
so tell me for it what it worths
I need to know
Is it me? is it you?
is it the time?
is it that it just doesn´t feel right?
your watery kisses
your reserved ways
I should walk away
turn the page
Every chapter seems secretive
hidding details that at the end
make this book incomplete
utterly hard to read.

Green eyes

 Green eyes staring at me
like emeralds shining in the dark
there was a voice whispering
beware of the wolf
too young and fearless
ready to attack but undecided
I listened the voice
I covered my face
stood still
the green lights went away
leaving me thoughtful
wishing I was brave
to pet the  wolf´s head
with no fear
of losing my hand.

Spinning without control

Everything spins without control
is it my fault?
my streght is slowly leaving my body
while I watch helpless
there is nothing left
the caos took over
it´s beyond control
I fought the battle
I have lost
now I witness the ruins collapse
Smoke and fire all around
Paralyzed by fears
I can not escape.

Poison

Every word, seems so blameless
Every smile seems so naive
you are caressing my hair like silk
looking at me in the eye
seeing through me
waiting for me to give up
there is poison in your touch
it´s killing me but I need more
like delightful pain
pleasing sorrow

To be the one

I have tried to be the one
when I know I am not
I took my part
I played the rol
I said the words
made promises of forever more
I said, I would be good
I won´t be sad no more
But only truth
the one beneath the
 facade
It´s that have lied
I wanted to be the one
so much
I played the rol to convince myself
to be content when I am not
I loved the dream of us
the diamont, the house, the child
Picture of what it should be
but it is not
I take the blame
in exchange for the key
to open my door
´cos I can not stay locked no more.

Illusion anti-break

Darling, darling, darling
you do not need to lie
lies are when you care
for fantasy sake
illusion anti-break
it´s sad to see
 the extent
of what you seek
lies to keep interest
lies to look good
lies to feel good
lies to spare sorrow
lies to make someone a fool
You´re slowly going
down and down
your taste is deceiving
like your entire alibi.

Inner battles

Words entangled in my troat
fighting to be spoken
Glassy eyes staring
weeping heart
lonely silence
hands tied
loosing the battle
before the first shot
lock in a dark corner
forgotten.

Label

The label is there
it says BAD
perhaps I am
mostly Sad
I prefer to jump the ship
that drown on it
the longing for freedom
goes with fear 
Confused and lonely
breathing slowly.
craving for life
passion and rapture
excitement of feel.

Misery in few words

It´s being trapped
it´s a cage of tick bars
it´s seeing the light
but unable to go to it
It´s having a heartache
that does not go away
it´s singing while others
cover their ears
it´s having the certainty
of having no joy
it´s to smile with sad eyes
it´s to have no excitement
it´s like life lost the spark
it´s a blown out candle light
when you find yourself in the dark
 fearing monsters that have lived
too long in dark caves of your mind
it´s keeping secrets
that are carving your flesh to get out
it´s living a lie
it´s being unable to see any way out
it´s dying bit by bit inside.

Today

I think of you, today
I want you so much
I close my eyes
I see your face
smiling at me
like the first day
we met
I think of you, today
I need you so much
I must have you
otherwise I´ll go insane
and I´ll look for you
in every face
I think of you, today
your hands in my hands
intertwined minds
hopeful heart
fearful past
I think of you, today
I know, what I feel
I know want
I want you, Today.

´live today, love today, tomorrow is an illusion, yesterday is gone..all you´ll ever have ..it´s today.`

Not anymore

I can not die every night
I can not lie by being around
It´s not your fault
or my own, it´s something beyond
I deal with despair since long
I made countless mistakes
that made my point less noble
less reasonable for others
I know you want to keep the facade
do not care if I am dying to get away
that´s killing me to see you suffering
own your hands at times
my love is long dead
but you keep carrying the corpse
I can not do it anymore
I can not live a life
pretending to care
smiling when all I want it´s cry.

Tomorrow

You promised tomorrow
 I need today
You give dreams
wishes and words
I want way more
I can´t wait for tomorrows
not for today not anymore
I have cried my half of the river
I have blamed myself not to be strong
for missing and looking for what I long
I wish you well and blame no soul
´cos life shall find a way
even we are no more.