Intoxicating and unkind

Two words that define him
in every  possible way
Cold and distant 
a touch of inmense pride
shinning in his eyes
like beautiful pearls
At times though it was not true
that underneath He could feel
It was just a mirage
a lie that I made myself believe
There is nothing to offer
there is nothing to take
Empty shell so alluring
intoxicating and unkind.

No direction

No signaled path
no direction
turning and turning
without control
lost myself
lost a love
I grief in silence
for everything
that now seems gone
I hear Chopin
and every note is a tear
every day is just a day
life goes on
though not me.

For a moment

It felt like time stopped
to be close to feel your warmth
enjoy some time in my head
picturing things that will never be
it felt like morphine
running down my veins
For a moment
It felt both ways
Until a cold bucket of water
hit my face
to wake me up, to see
that the only fool was me.

Opium

Sweet lips that
 I have kissed
tender chest
 I have embraced
Oh wonderful glory
my opium, my drug
my poison of choise
eyes so divine
hair as the sun
in his arms
my mind was lost
all dignity gone
I cried my fate
cursed my past
All to be numb
kiss those lips
embrace a dream
doze off in a lie.

Grow up

He said grow up
stop childish indecisions
I looked down in shame
nothing desired more
to be as he wished
descisive,assertive and brave
time has passed
salty waves wet the shore
many ships have gone out of sight
sundowns and sunrises
Nothing would do
still a child at heart
still playing with fire
still betting against the odds
still dancing alone.

Departure

We parted in peace
so it seems
You took your way
so far away
I cried my shared
blamed and cursed
lame and lost
the cold lonely embrace
of what's gone
I mourned your departure
like a wheeping widow
in my night pillow.
I made big fuss
kick and shout
all in vain
as you are gone.

Done and over

Words turned in sentences
turned into a letter
it was a last goodbye
a simple good luck
Rather for what it was
than for what it is
No feelings involve
only the wish of no return
turn the page
let it go
slowly lost on the horizon
partly hurted
partly realeased
wholly done.